conversations with my conscience

i've been trying to figure this out for quite some time.

now there are points in your life.. when you're doing something which you know for a fact you shouldn't.. wrong is a very strong word.. but you know that it isn't really right.. either ethically or morally or whatever..

and what holds you back from going ahead and doing it anyway.. or pulls you back.. is that annoying thought in your head.. that tells you that you need to think it over.. and forces you back into that irritating position where impulse is overruled by sanity.

now this has not happened to me very often.

two conclusions can be drawn from this.

either

(a) i don't do the "wrong" things too often, or
(b) i just don't have a very active conscience.

both of these are unlikely.

in fact, to be quite honest, it's like i sometimes have to force myself to think.. i have to tell myself "your conscience should be stopping you", because i can't feel or hear my conscience or voice of reason at all. because i'm perfectly happy with what i'm doing.. and it's like i'm acting out a part to myself by pretending to care about the other aspect of it.

does this make sense to you?

but it's not like i'm breaking rules (though i wonder who sets these rules) or hurting anyone, or demeaning myself.

so maybe i'm just not doing anything wrong then.. :p

i have succeeded once again in thoroughly confusing myself.