me the living!
I remember piano lessons
Now everything seems clear
You waiting under streetlights
For dreams to disappear
i'm listening to piano lessons by porcupine tree. it's a great song to put you into reflective mode.
for some reason, it's like an exertion to even sit down and find the words. there are so many things i want to say, so many things i need to - but the sad thing is that it's very often too tiring to try and sort through them in your own head, before trying to find an explanation.
the last two weeks have been a sort of emotional upheaval. i came very, very close to going against everything i've stood for in the past few months, and even closer to breaking myself - but it's an amazing feeling to say that today, i am proud of myself, and what i've done, and what i can do.
it's funny how easily people can change, and shift tactics, in their selfish pursuit of one thing alone. and it's crazy just how much words can hurt. they're just words and sentences, after all.. and the mind and the heart should be strong enough to hold out against something as trivial as that.. but maybe that's what makes people weak and vulnerable. and human.
my theory in life is that you can go through any sort of emotional crap, any fight, any disgusting mud-slinging scenario if you remember one thing - hold onto your pride. you have to be the one to walk away, the one to laugh even if you feel like crying, cultivate sarcasm and that beautiful contemptuous tone in your voice. it's sexy. be a bitch if you have to. you'll respect yourself more, rather than going the sad, depressed, afflicted way.
it's cool. the world is filled with liars, cheats and people who aren't what they seem at all. what you, and they, need to realize is - the rest of the world knows, and pities them, because they're pathetic little people who don't even have the guts to admit to it.
i sound like i've been living a soap opera! am so happy with the way things are going right now. building and breaking relationships is a liberating experience!
in other news
1. attended a brilliant conference in kodaikanal
2. went back to school - finally!
3. have embarked on a quest to find.. well, never mind
4. have begun writing again!
Now everything seems clear
You waiting under streetlights
For dreams to disappear
i'm listening to piano lessons by porcupine tree. it's a great song to put you into reflective mode.
for some reason, it's like an exertion to even sit down and find the words. there are so many things i want to say, so many things i need to - but the sad thing is that it's very often too tiring to try and sort through them in your own head, before trying to find an explanation.
the last two weeks have been a sort of emotional upheaval. i came very, very close to going against everything i've stood for in the past few months, and even closer to breaking myself - but it's an amazing feeling to say that today, i am proud of myself, and what i've done, and what i can do.
it's funny how easily people can change, and shift tactics, in their selfish pursuit of one thing alone. and it's crazy just how much words can hurt. they're just words and sentences, after all.. and the mind and the heart should be strong enough to hold out against something as trivial as that.. but maybe that's what makes people weak and vulnerable. and human.
my theory in life is that you can go through any sort of emotional crap, any fight, any disgusting mud-slinging scenario if you remember one thing - hold onto your pride. you have to be the one to walk away, the one to laugh even if you feel like crying, cultivate sarcasm and that beautiful contemptuous tone in your voice. it's sexy. be a bitch if you have to. you'll respect yourself more, rather than going the sad, depressed, afflicted way.
it's cool. the world is filled with liars, cheats and people who aren't what they seem at all. what you, and they, need to realize is - the rest of the world knows, and pities them, because they're pathetic little people who don't even have the guts to admit to it.
i sound like i've been living a soap opera! am so happy with the way things are going right now. building and breaking relationships is a liberating experience!
in other news
1. attended a brilliant conference in kodaikanal
2. went back to school - finally!
3. have embarked on a quest to find.. well, never mind
4. have begun writing again!
scribbled by astrodominie at 2:53 pm
4 Comments:
hmmm should talk gal :)
heyy niz! yeah we should definitely! and update your blog, idiot!
hullo! nice one...i was just going to blog on the people not being what they seem part :P dear god, you have had a soap opera-ish life...but it's been a sexy one recently eh? hehehe, revenge is very sweet...and some people deserve to be trampled and crushed and thrown into the dustbin, so go right ahead...
If you maintain your pride in an argument, solely for the sake of keeping your pride, aren't you blinding yourself from the possibility that you might be incorrect? Isn't it more important to be open to such a possibility than to be sarcastic and contemptuous of the opposing side's argument?
Also, if you go against something you believe in, isn't that an indication, perhaps, that you don't believe in it as much as you think you do? Isn't that another area where one needs to be open? To keep in mind that change is inevitable and that refusing to accept is only delaying, well, the inevitable?
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